You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
