i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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