I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
