Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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