My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
