Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
handjob tips. give me some.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
