David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
