I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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