): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
