so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
