Just cropdusted the office
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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