why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
