I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
