Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize