maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Couch. On fire.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize