Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
