Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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