No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
