If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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