The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so let's talk penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
