If i come over, it means nothing
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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