i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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