so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
