he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
