I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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