He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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