ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
