Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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