Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
