dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
