I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
