I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
