Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think my fart just growled at me.
false alarm. still invincible.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
