I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
how do you play pong handcuffed?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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