Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
