So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
