did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
