Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
