thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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