No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
