i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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