hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
