he wants to bone in the snuggie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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