Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
