So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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