She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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