I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
