I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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