My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
