ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
