I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
