Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
