So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
