I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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