I think I won the penis lottery.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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