Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
