So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
