even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
