Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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