It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
