i'm signing you up for texting rehab
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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