We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
