lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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