I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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